Here’s a personal side to parenthood- one that not many people share, which is what makes this topic so important to discuss.
If you’re trying to conceive (TTC)- please keep reading, because YOU ARE NOT ALONE! It’s a conversation that most people don’t even know how to talk about. I mean, when someone asks “how are you?” it’s very much a rhetorical question- DO NOT answer honestly, they don’t actually want to know how hard things have been. This is especially true for those who are TTC because let’s face it- your whole life revolves around that SUPER important “fertile window” and endless desire for pee sticks!
Everyone has that “timeline” in their head, you know the one- career by 25, married by 28, start a family at 30. Milestones and ages vary, but the overall concept of success looms in the background, telling us that if we don’t do this in time, we have FAILED. That’s part of what makes trying to conceive (TTC) so hard for many of us.
I found out that I was pregnant with B- 3 days before my wedding- when I was semi-joking that I should take a test to make sure I could drink at the wedding…so yeah, this post is not about that conception journey. As we talked about TTC again, I always had that in the back of my mind- that when we were ready, it would be no problem, we would be pregnant in 1-3 cycles.
12 cycles, 3 blood tests, countless pee sticks, 4 boxes of OPKs, over 10 pages of fertility paperwork later- we decided to stop trying for baby number 2.
AND, BOOM! Little man was conceived!
Those months were hard, they were filled with shame, doubt, disappointment, frustration, and anger. (All topics we are taught NOT to share). I say all of this, not to discourage you, but to remind you that we’re all in this together.
TIPS for you:
|1. FIND AN ADVOCATE- We all need someone who we can go to- totally defeated- and lay all of our raw feelings out there to, and somehow leave conversations feeling invigorated and excited again. This person should be honest, but positive and uplifting.|
|2. WATCH- “The Great Sperm Race” on Youtube- I am attaching the link to all 6 of the videos! Seriously puts conception in perspective! What a miracle, that so many things have to line up just perfectly for it to happen. No wonder it takes some time! You will not be disappointed! https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCDECC6C14006053D
|3. BUY OPKs- or “ovulation test predictors,” obviously this post isn’t going to tell you how to get pregnant faster, it’s main purpose is to encourage you during this time but seriously- these really help with learning your PEAKS, HIGHS, and LOWS (I am adding an affiliate link to Amazon, where you can buy them and avoid those awkward stares at the checkout lane in Target).
|4. INSTALL AN APP (or more)- to connect you with other people who are in the same stage as you. You will find “cycle buddies,” track your periods, find your fertile window, ask/answer questions, and read other’s stories
I recommend (and use)
Glow App is my FAVORITE- there is an app for each stage from TTC to pregnancy, to parenthood. It provides you with areas to journal and discuss how you’re feeling (which is super important when we don’t feel like sharing our disappointment, that YET AGAIN, we’re not pregnant.One of the best parts about this app though, is the community section. You can tailor the filters to only display the topics that are RELEVANT to YOU!
|5. RELAX- I would be lying if I told you I was sooo relaxed, and it would royally irritate me when someone would tell me “not to stress.” Honestly, though- it is good advice (no matter how obvious and infuriating it sounds)|
You have a community of people who are cheering you on! You are not alone, please LIKE this post, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE it with someone you think needs it!
If you aren’t the person needing encouragement, BE the person giving it! Radical change in perspective happens when we love those who need it most.
YOU GOT THIS!
With Love ♥